Episode #082 How to change your beliefs about money with Melissa Meagher – hosted by Angie Martin

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How to change your beliefs about money with Melissa Meagher – hosted by Angie Martin

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

money, people, bookkeepers, beliefs, business, mindset, client, stories, space, relationship, support, bookkeeping, savvy, presents, creating, growing, work, melissa, angie, showing

00:01

Good morning, everyone. This is Angie from the savvy team. Thank you so much for joining us for another edition of our bookkeepers voice with our Guest Speaker Melissa, thank you so much, Melissa. How are you today?

00:16

Oh, good. Hi, Angie. Hi, everyone. Thanks. Yes. Great. Fantastic. Very happy to be here.

00:21

Lovely. So this is your actual second time on the podcast. Anyone who hasn't heard Melissa's first podcast with us. Please feel free to go back to our last episode where we actually sat down and chatted about talking money and everything in regards to sorting out your own financials and making you feel really comfortable and really kind of at ease of where your personal and where you professional financials are so you can continue to grow your business. So a little bit more information about Melissa is that You have an impressive amount of experience in the financial industry. It's

01:05

my my age.

01:07

Over 20 years, it's pretty impressive. And I love that throughout the 20 years, you actually have done a few different things in the financial space. And, you know, by doing the different parts of the industry, you've been able to really create this understanding of what fellow financial people and just other people really need help with and work with on really mastering the relationship with money and the finances and I think it's a really fantastic way of how you've creating talking money to be a, you know, entrepreneur and coaching kind of community where you can support your clients in really having that overall support and just the tools and framework to have that empowerment and clarity on their financial space. Do you want to talk a bit more about?

Why do professionals struggle with finances ?

02:14

Yeah, sure. Yeah. Well, you done a fantastic job Angie. Thank you know, but in probably what I was gonna, it's a really good, you know, what you're saying that I've had, you know, I've worked in, you know, financial planning stock broking, I work for superannuation fund for a number of years. And so I've had, you know, exposure to different markets in different spaces and with the banks and also be take financial planning firms and, you know, mean, it didn't matter where I actually was because I was always obviously dealing with people and dealing with their money and their finances and that sort of thing. But I, which is, you know, this is my, I guess my main motivation for starting my own business. But wherever I was, and whatever I was doing, I continually had these conversations with people that were very, very good at what they Did you know very much in the genius zone, and this is including people in finance too, by the way, so but but and neither of them were employed or self employed, it didn't matter. But there was, you know, they're very, very competent, very, you know, great people. And for some reason, in society, if you're good at what you do good at your job, or your craft or your, you know, your business or whatever it is, there is an automatic correlation or that you should be also good with your money and your money management and all that sort of thing.

03:31

And like, I can unequivocally say, there is no correlation whatsoever at all. It could be an indirect correlation. Sometimes people are so focused on doing what they you know, in their genius zone. But what I found, you know, wherever I was that because there was an expectation around them being good with their money that they felt a lot of embarrassment and shame when they weren't and more times than not that they weren't. Which then led them to perhaps many decisions that weren't serving them that could put them under, you know, with the not necessarily having the knowledge or the understanding or whatever it was, and then making decisions that we could possibly put them under further stress and exit and overwhelm and all that sort of thing. And so I, I continually kept having those conversations with these people. And that was a that was my big motivation for well, leaving employment leaving being an employed person, which I'm sure a lot of your you know, people listening will will understand that.

04:36

We can talk a bit about a bit later which causes its own issues.

04:40

But, you know, my thing was very much my my whole basis for starting my business was to create a safe space and have a real conversation around money. Not what you know, not what you think it should look like, not what other people are saying it should be or you know, any of that stuff. It's just like pulling the curtain back and actually really shining the light on what is actually going on in a very safe, nurturing non judgmental space that no one else needs to know about.

Business owners don't have to be great at everything

05:11

Yeah. And I love that. And that's why, when I was in your webinar just personally, that you did that was transforming your relationship with money. I was sitting here and I was just like, this is exactly what Savvy is all about. We love having that safe space where people can come and feel comfortable and talking about, you know, anything that they need help and support with whether that's, you know, we have some amazing bookkeepers that make such a difference for their clients. But when it comes to running their own businesses, sometimes there's that missing ingredient or that missing puzzle piece, and I think that happens with all business owners and all entrepreneurs. You can't be everything and I think a lot of have us go through a lot of stress and kind of almost self loathing that we aren't everything. But as soon as you get to the point that you kind of go Yes, I'm not good at this, but I'm amazing at this. So either I need to outsource this or I need to get support with us. Yeah, yeah, it's creating that safe space that really helps that motivation to be able to do that.

06:27

Yeah. And also that just giving people permission that it's okay to not be okay with your money, your own money. And, you know, he doesn't even people in in the, you know, bookkeeping space, because a lot of it is, you know, I mean, I and we've talked about this before, you know, I come in on the money but it's a lot of it's not about the money. The money is (not) the cause it's the effect of where it's showing up and not the cause. So it's really, you know, which is obviously what we're going to be talking about today. But it's showing it can be presenting itself in our you know, You know, directly with our relationship and our motivations and behaviours around money, it can be also showing up and I've had experience in all these areas, it can be showing up in our personal relationships, the what's going on in there, particularly for women, you know, giving away their power in their personal relationships.

Money issues get exposed when you become a business owner

07:19

But a big space where it can show up is when we actually are in the position and when we start our own business when we you know, when we transition from that being a salaried paid employee with a title and you know, and everything and then actually leaving that space and going into your own, you know, space because what I really believe is you can, you know, you can, you can sort of hide, the word sort of hide is or you don't have to address these things. If you are employed, if you're receiving a salary, you've got a role, you know, I mean, obviously, it can show up in your professional life, as well. But once you're Sort of, you know, laid bare setting your own business, there is a lot of stuff and I experienced this personally myself after I started my business. There's a lot of stuff that comes up around, you know, our relationship with money, you know, and money stories and money beliefs. And you know, I mean, I'm supporting them at the moment they're in that transition stage and they've got that awareness that they're actually self sabotaging self sabotaging what's going on, or they you know, they need to get one more qualification and they need to do one more thing I think presents itself in all different ways.

08:35

So it's just

08:38

I'm always overwhelmed; and really, I shouldn't be any more but I am at what a massive impact money has and is connected to our really to our absolute core identity and all the different ways it can show up in our in our lives.

08:59

Absolutely. You know, this is something that I'm personally in the process of going through and you know, just to share a little bit with the savvy community. I, my dad was very hard working man, you know, he worked the 14 hour day, 16 hour days as a pharmacist. Yeah. And he instilled in me my work mentality. From a very early age. He was also had the entrepreneur minds, he always, you know, he was a hard worker, and he was a massive budgeter. And it was instilled in me at a very young age that you work for what you know, you have to work hard for the money that you get, and when you get the money then you need to budget it. And growing up like that was amazing. But I went through my own journey and that's budgeting mentality went to an extreme to the point that I watched my money too much. And I became too strict with my spending habits.

Being too strict with money is a problem

10:06

I became too strict with my relationship with money and it became a negative one because anytime I spent money I was getting nervous or anxious because I had the opposite issue a lot of people have where their relationship with money is so easy to spend and misuse it were mine. I'm a master budgeter I can save any amount of money I need to. But doing so it was creating an issue in my life that was going professionally and personally where I wouldn't. Let's say I wouldn't go I'll have a really bad back. I wouldn't go and spend the money to fix my back because it was spending money on me. Yeah, it wasn't a priority. Yeah, you know, you know, it's one of those things that relationship with Money can come in different ways. And you can have the two different sides where

11:04

slightly you can have that it can be anything can be the light in the darkness. And you know, and I was talking to my daughter about this the other day, we're talking about something else. And she said, is perfectionism a good thing or a bad thing? And I said, Well, it depends how it's showing up. And it's exactly like, you know, many if it's, if it's if it's helping you be a diligent student and being, you know, having pride in your work, you know, all that sort of thing, then it's a positive. If it's to the point where you, you can't actually do your work. Because you're so you know, keep ripping pages out, and it's not perfect, you know, maybe it's not serving you. So it's, it's a bad thing.

11:41

So, and it's exactly what you're saying to Angie, it's like, you know, watching your money can be a positive or it can be negative. Luckily, as you know, there's the people that spend money that they don't have the puts themselves on, you know, huge pressure, and there's lots of different reasons, most of it's trying to fill your cup up externally, than internally, which we could do a whole segment on that. But also, and also, you know, what you're saying as well, I've, I've supported a couple of women, and we're, you know, with the way that it was really about giving them giving themselves permission to actually spend money on them. Because what they were doing is that they know what, you know that and they had the money, they had the ability to do this.

12:28

So it wasn't about the I was it's not about the money, money, it's about that and that what they would do is I put in roadblocks before they'd spend it, that they had to get, you know, that they had to go through. But even when they got through those roadblocks I still wouldn't do it was still resistance. And, you know, it's It was so so interesting to uncover, particularly to uncover what was you know, I'm happy to share it with you if you want but look what was going on for her. It's something happened to her when she was a child to remain and it was such a strong story and belief that she was carrying and it this event was showing up in in that it was showing up in her professional life. It was showing up in her personal relationships, you know her, and it was just like this amazing thing and she'd never, she'd never made the connection. Hmm.

13:25

And that's, that's what I think is really important, especially for a lot of our listeners is understanding your money story. It's understanding where your mindset your beliefs and attitudes has come from. Yeah, and that's why I actually took your webinar because I'm in the process of really analysing my money relationship and where it started and where it is now. Yes. And where I want it to be. Yeah, I think the starting of the process is understanding, what has helped create your beliefs and your attitude towards your money relationship? And to really investigate that and then go through and to analyse what your vision and aspirations are to get you to that next step? Do you want to have a chat about

Understanding your money story can set you free

14:20

oh I can like right up your alley? Yes please. So basically I just if I can share with the audience a bit about understanding their money story and just share with some questions Yeah, so great. What is it you know, our beliefs, which is you know, from money stories are a, you know, a form by about the age of seven what when we call we're in the theta brainwave mode, wherever we take everything like a sponge is no filter. So you know, when you say kids are like little sponges, they literally are taking in everything around them with no filter, so they don't you know, they don't really understand what they're taking in, but they're taking it in. And so what happens is that The set of rules or guidelines that we've told our subconscious that we want to live by, so we'll do everything in its power to keep them safe, and to keep them real. And then, you know, as we get older, they're further reinforced with their experience and interaction we have, and get further ingrained as our core beliefs.

15:19

Now, the problem is some of these beliefs, as we already discussed, are not serving us. And some of them actually are not even true. Yes, but they're actually what are running the show. So it's very much and so a very big piece of how I support people is to really, you know, go it's to identify any negative or limiting beliefs and blocks that you might have around money and really, you know, challenge the outdated ones that you know, are not serving you or weren't even true in the first place. So it's really about you know, breaking that cycle or that patent or that loot that people have with money because two things I know But it's it's more of the mindset side of things. When people say to me, I, they say, look, let's I feel like I've got this, I know or don't feel I know, I've got this unhealthy relationship with money, but I actually can't quite put my finger on it. That's very much being driven by our stories and our beliefs.

External controls won't change bad internal values

16:16

And the other thing people say to me is I feel like I'm in this loop or this cycle with money, it doesn't matter what I do, it doesn't matter what I put in place, because they're doing it an external, yeah, external world. I can't break it. And once again, that's because it's being driven internally by these beliefs and our stories. So it's really the so so vitally important to understand where these are coming from. So the thing I what I do with people first with their money stories, and I obviously got an extensive document that I do when I'm working one on one, but I've just got a summary of some of the questions that I asked you know, the first one is, you know, how do you feel when you think about money, you know, what, where do you… What's your immediate emotion? And where you Where do you feel it in your body? You mean that's a that's a pretty good question you know?

17:09

And how would you describe your current relationship with money, which is an interesting thing to you know, actually, you'll end up going to another thing that I'll share with you in a sec about that. But you know, and the most i think is the most important question is, you know, how is money spoken about when you're growing up? Because I will challenge anyone that how money was spoken about when we're growing up that you've shared and you know, man, I had a similar you know, work if work ethic taught to me that's been shared with my children now by my dad. That how moneynow was spoken about when you're growing up is now presenting itself some way in adult life either directly without related to our relationship with money, or it'll be showing up in our personal relationships or in our professional life or our business, but it will be showing up somewhere.

17:58

Now obviously, there's Positive, you know, there's some fantastic positive ones, which I make, I'm okay with, I'm happy to leave those ones alone. But it's the ones that aren't serving us. They're not you know, or not even true, that are actually putting us, you know, stopping us from really stepping into our power and living in our true amazingness. So it's the stuff that's holding us back, keeping a small, keeping us in fear and overwhelm and that, you know, all those sorts of things. So it's not, they're just not serving us.

If being truer to yourself loses you some clients, it also frees you for better clients!

18:32

Yeah. And I think, you know, when I talk with a lot of our clients in a lot of our listeners as well, because I try and just call and chat to people and see how they're going. Is that a lot of bookkeepers; I see this resonating with them in their fear of losing a client. So a lot of bookkeepers are in the transition right now of going virtual. And a lot of them are also in the process of reanalyzing their pricing and figuring out their pricing packages and moving away from the hourly rate into the package for the choice

19:09

of money. Yeah, the time for money. So yeah,

19:12

and a lot of them have invoicing stress. You know, they get stressed about invoicing for the work that they've actually done. They quite often bookkeepers will do work for free because they want to help the client and they feel guilty for charging for that. And, you know, the main thing is that if they do a change in their business, like changing from hourly to pricing, or just changing their overall stance on, you know, how they manage the clients, a lot of bookkeepers are people pleasers, and they want if a client needs something, they'll do it right now, where that's not the best way if you're growing and really busy, then you focus on your biggest client one day a week.

19:58

And that's the day that they can call you to talk to you, and that's when you're focused on them then the rest of the week, then you do all your other smaller ones. Yeah. So they're always saying to me that, you know, if they make these changes, what if they lose a client, and it is such a core belief in their system and the core belief also for being not afraid to charge for the time that they're doing? But, you know, when they go to me, and they go, I've had nothing like, I've had a useless day. None of it I can charge. You know, I can't charge anyone for an entire workday. Well, you can. But they have these blocks where they feel a constant amount of guilt. And I feel like that comes a lot from their belief systems, their valuing of themselves and are overwhelmed by it

20:50

Excellent. Angie, that's what I was gonna say like you mean it. As I was saying before, you know, it presents itself in money, charging, you know, charging for it. It's It's such a big aspect of when you're in your own business because you can't hide from this stuff anymore you cannot you know you cannot hide from looking at you know having a look at interesting this stuff these you know stuff around our money stories and money beliefs and stuff like that because that's what's you know mean that's there is some there's something there for them and it's it's you know it comes out in out what's going on so with the situation about charging you know charging for the work charging what they should be, you know number one charge following your own work. Absolutely it really it comes back down to our self worth.

21:40

It comes back down to our valuing ourselves and you know, and that's a really big part of what happens when we have when our own business because I mean that what happened to me like I you know set my business up it was all looking beautiful and shiny and bright and shiny on the outside and look bright and no one was coming. Almost turning up, I was like, What? What's going on here? And I actually, funnily enough as I did, someone presented themselves at the time to support me and I, you know, and a coach to work with on it. And it was really, really interesting because it was me that was stopping. Because it was, you know, I mean, the thing is, I wasn't and I wasn't selling widgets either. And I was selling myself as a coach. So and my knowledge, my, my programme, you know, all that sort of stuff. So I wasn't even selling I'm not selling myself as a service. And I, when I looked at, you know, when I did you know, I did the, you know, I got the support and work through it and stuff like that. It was really interesting because it was, because I wasn't valuing myself.

You need to value yourself before others will

22:45

Obviously, no one else was going to be showing up and valuing that as well. And it was, it was a realisation for me that I wasn't fearful of failure. I was fearful of being successful which is a you know, it's a work in progress. That's a constant thing. Because it didn't it wasn't in align with my other my my stories and my beliefs about myself, which is, you know, it doesn't matter what they what they are, but they will does it like that doesn't mean I did it. But it was that realisation and just like going well, if I'm if I'm not believing in myself,

23:21

who will no one else is going to be believing in us. Yeah.

23:23

And I think it resonates so much in bookkeepers because we I talk to bookkeepers so much, because you know, what I mentor them most of the time we're working on business development and marketing, mainly. So I don't do that intricate bookkeeping things. That's what Amy does. But I can hear how passionate they are about their business and how experienced they are and you know, often is that we just don't know why it's not working. And it takes them typically about a month or so to like an open up so that I can see this about them. And it's like, well, this should be something that you notice right away. This is you are your business. You're so knowledgeable, that you need to be comfortable enough to make that clear.

More qualifications won't fix negative internal views

24:19

It's about it's but like always, besides taking a couple of steps back to make a massive jump forward, it's actually going and doing this the mindset, the internal work, because, you know, it's not about doing another product, it's not about doing another like, that's really important, obviously, to get all that in place, but it gets the point where it's people are looking for those external things to fix. It's kind of like the shopping, you know, spending money. And we're getting another piece of paper to say that I'm not good enough to actually run my own business. I mean, it whatever it is, it shows up in so many different ways, but of actually doing because it's all being it's all being run from internally.

24:59

Like I love You know, in some of my presentations, I've got this, this picture of the iceberg and there's, you know, this tiny little tip of the iceberg jutting out of the water. That's our conscious mind. And that's where we think, you know, we're all in control and running the show and everything. It's this tiny little thing jumping out of the water. And then underneath the water, there's just huge, massive expanse, which is the, which is the iceberg. And that's our, that's our, that's our stories. That's our beliefs. And that's is actually what is running the show. So if we don't go and address this, it's not not nothing is going to change. It doesn't matter what we do on the outside doesn't matter what we have set up and that sort of stuff. And I can say this hand on heart because I've experienced it myself. It doesn't matter what how bright and shiny it looks on the outside. If you don't have that, you know, have cleared whatever needs to be cleared.  It won't, I mean it will still keep showing up.

25:59

Yeah, I completely agree

26:00

and keep getting bigger and bigger

26:03

I completely agree. And it's something that, you know, I've personally been working on the, under the water part of the iceberg for the last three years. So, I've been finding, you know, I'll have very strong inset set mindset and beliefs and everything that have started from when I was quite young. And also when I moved to Australia, and they were affecting me, and some of it was quite positive, some of it was negative. And I, deep down I know I still have those beliefs, but since I've started to work on it, I've been able to be aware of why my first instinct might be to be no I can't spend that or no, I can't do that. That's that's not going to work. And then I sit down and go, okay, but is this actually the truth or is this what I've been kind of conditioning myself to believe?

26:59

Is this true that reminds me of a lady Byron Katie that does a lot of she calls it the work. And it's I don't know if that's what you just said, that is like,

27:09

is this really true? Like, those are questions that she goes through, and it's some, which I love.

27:15

It's the beginning process of changing your mindset. Because I feel like everyone when they talk about mindset and talk about beliefs and attitudes, they all think that it's an instant. I know, this is an issue, so I'm just going to change it.

Changing mindset takes time

27:31

No, it's not that easy. No, this has been these have been being embedded in generated for 30 40 50 years, you know, it's just you can't click your fingers and change it overnight. But the thing is, you actually can change it. Reminded me of an ad – Was it a hair product or something? I think it's a hair product. But it's it's in like, I think it's as you absolutely what you said, Angie, it's actually awarenesses that first in so many because what happens is, you know, we've got these Beliefs sitting it our, And so sitting in our subconscious, and then what happens is there'll be an external event interaction or something will happen that will trigger one of these beliefs, then it goes up into a thought. And that's actually where we have the opportunity to change because it's what we do with our thoughts, then creates a an emotional response that creates a reality, either negative or positive, and then gets further further reinforced, you know, goes back into our beliefs.

28:29

So a lot of the stuff I do is is creating that understanding that self awareness first, and I've got quite a lot of exercises and stuff I work through with people on that. But then it's understanding the power of our thoughts and actually what comes out of our mouth. And so it's very much about reframing if there is you know, it's like that negative chat chat chat, you know, that monkey brain and you know, the negative stuff going on. So, you know, if you've got that going the whole time. There's no room for anything else. So it's just actually about catching that it's about catching those thoughts. And then, and reframing them. And you know, there's quite a lot of, you know, I mean, obviously, as you said, you kind of click your fingers and just, but you can, you know, there's, it's, it's not just woowoo anymore. It's been, it's scientifically, you know, you can actually change in your neural pathways and, you know, Joe dispenza and all those people, you know, it's, it's actually not just like, Oh, yeah, you know, just if you go and sit on the mountaintop and think about things you know, it's not if you want to do that sounds pretty good.

Changing your thoughts literally changes your brain

29:36

But it's actually physically, Sorry scientifically being proven that you can actually change your neural pathways. Or you can retrain, retrain your brain and like, you know, I'll give an example I used to say to my kids all the time. Before I did this, you know, my own development and growth and stuff like that. I used to say to my kids all the time; We can't afford it. We can't afford it. We can't afford it. So I was thinking about me and myself; And, and having an impact on my children. And then when I actually thought, guess what was showing up in my course I couldn't afford it because I was thinking what I was, and where your energy goes, you know where your focus goes, your energy flows or you know, your perception creates your reality, you know, whatever you think, is what is going to present itself in your external physical world. So, of course, I couldn't afford it, because that's what I kept saying to myself, my beliefs and that was actually being, you know, coming out in my external environment. So it's just the power of our thoughts and what comes out of our mouth is just so, so vitally important, the impact it has, and it's actually where we can change, reframe and change out, you know, change our thoughts and our behaviour.

30:50

Yeah, love it. And so, for anyone who is in the point, you know, they're listening to this podcast, and they're like, Oh, this sounds a lot Like me?

31:02

Yeah, it's and that happens quite a bit. I love podcasts and I'll be sitting there and I'll be like, Oh, that's me is there what what do you think is the first step to actually working on your money mindset and on your relationship with money? What's the first step to changing your journey?

31:26

Yeah, it's to understand your money story for start. So you know, going through those questions I've got a quite a long as I said, a quite a long document. You know, the things like understanding what was your mother's relationship with money? What was your father's relationship with money? And even what were your grandparents relationship with money because most of our stories are coming through from our family of origin. And so it's, it's, you know, that's the starting point to actually go and see because that's where you will have taken in your most of your stories. Yeah, when you were little, and it's, you know, and I always like to say here if things aren't exactly how you want them at the time, It's not about going iand blaming your parents now. It's because they were, they were working with the, you know, with what the information that they've been given. And so it's just having, it's just having that awareness of where it's showing up in your, in your adult life. So the first step is having that self awareness. And then, you know, self awareness is fantastic, but it's never enough on its own, you know, then taking inspired action, and doing something about it.

32:29

I always talk about, you know, first be aware of it, and then do an action for it.

You have to change if you want different results

32:34

Yeah, because if it's, if you keep doing that, you know, it's that probability vector versus the possibility vector, if you keep doing the same thing you'll keep you're probably keep getting the same result. That's just that's just how it works at this point. So I just like to get people very much into actually what is possible a possibility vector. So really getting, you know, taking that inspired action, that's and that's how I support people as I've actually Working through taking it inspired action, you know, working through their money story, and then understand what's that about their money beliefs, because that's what's driving the show, is our belief structures our belief framework around and what you know if there's ones that are serving us or not serving as well as the ones not serving us, and also the ones that not even true, there's someone else's beliefs that we've taken on.

33:26

Yes.

33:28

And you know, it's very interesting when people start their own business, they feel like their businesses need to look and look and feel and, you know, be of a certain way. And that's actually not even their idea of what they want is their business. It's actually you know, it's someone else's idea of what they should their business should look like, and that sort of thing. So it's getting, it's once you it's about anything, once you clear that space. It's gonna be like developing a business by not by default or what you think it should be, but Like actually developing a business, your business by design, I've actually what you want your business to look like because you've let go of these stories and beliefs and stuff like that, that have sort of, you know, not not serving you and holding you back. And just being able to step into your full amazingness

Sure foundations are essential for long term success

34:17

Yeah, I mean, we focus on that so much in savvy. So, you know, anytime typically, we deal with pre existing businesses, that they want to change the way their business is to make it more successful to make them more happy. Everyone has different reasons. And we make them the first thing we do is we make them redo or do for the first time their business plan. And in that process, we break down their background we go through you know, what was your favourite class in school? What do you want to be as a child and, and every time they do we go through this, they always kind of look at me because we do over zoom. They kind of look at Going, why are we doing this? They never say it. But it's like,

35:05

you can sort of say that they going,

35:07

Oh, why? Why am I doing this right now? You know, but it's working through what led to you to become who you are today to become the bookkeeper that you are today. And if that doesn't match what your bookkeeping business is projecting, we need to figure out why. For one,

35:27

exactly what are the blocks what's holding you back? What's, what's not resonating for you or what's not? You know, I mean, I, I've had this conversation with a number of people lately about what success means. And I think we might have even touched on but you know me native you strive and strive and strive and strive of what you think you're what success looks like for you. And these people get it. And they go, Ah, no, this is not do it for me. This is actually and it wasn't even their definition of success in the first place. It was someone else's or their beliefs that they thought was what success would be. And then they realised when they actually got it that it actually wasn't. Mm hmm. And they had to get there first to understand so how cool would it be to actually not have to go through all that?

36:15

To actually be doing your definition of success!

36:18

We wouldn't use your definition of life. I think everyone you know, it's still and it's very instilled in the Australian mindset especially I find for women Now this might sound a bit controversial, but you know, coming from a different country, different culture coming to Australia, it's they're still very much that, you know, you go to school, you go to do secondary education, uni. A lot of people I know went to uni, their first round, and they didn't know why they were doing it. It wasn't what they specifically wanted to do, but

36:49

that was someone elses (definition)

Are you fulfilling someone else's dreams for your life ?

36:50

step you go and you do uni. And then after uni, then you either you know, you have a partner, you get married, you have Children. And then you know, Australia is still very much that the females are the, you know, you do the household, but you're also now expected to do the work as well. And it's all very what is still instilled in us as younger humans basically. And it's not true anymore. Like, I know almost more friends and partners that I like, friends of partners and everything that the dad is the one who stays at home and just, it's such so cool, you know, and that's, you know, you don't have to you don't have to go to uni. I went back to high school for an extra year. And then I went travelling, and then I went to uni. And because I did that I was so much more sure with what I wanted in my life that I knew that was going to happen.

37:56

I started uni and then left and went mobile to live overseas. A couple years ago and came back, and so I was very, very and you like, You know, people say, Oh, you know, I don't think this is the right thing for you. And but I was so very clear on Actually no, I actually want to

38:11

I need to do this. This is what

38:12

I want to do. I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna do with it. But this is what I want to do. And I went back on my own steam. I had to go and redo the subjects and you know, that sort of stuff, but it's an end up blowing it out of the water, because it was actually my decision to do. Yeah, as opposed to someone else's decision.

38:32

And I think that's really true to a lot of bookkeepers is that they really, truly believe that because there's bookkeeping. there's been very little thought process, I think in regards to the fact that bookkeepers are also individuals. And so bookkeepers when they decide to have their own business, they do what everyone else has done, because that's what is expected. That is the traditional way of thinking and Now everyone is just realising that they're doing this and they're not having their ideal clients. They're not happy, coming to work every day even though it's their own business, it still feels like work. And you hear that noise coming from outside. No,

39:16

I'm good. I have gotten garden people outside and if you can hear it I'll tell them to be quiet if you can't

39:22

hear. Can't hear it, don't worry. I always worry about that too often

39:26

put my earphones in if you start hearing just let me know put my earphones in. No worries. But um,

39:31

yeah, like, I feel like that's a real thing with bookkeepers, and I think it directly also relates with their money mindset is how they're afraid to go against the grain. Yes, they think they won't be accepted.

39:46

Yes, yes. It's just it's just it's, you know, once again, demonstrating how such a big part of our core identity is connected to our relationship with money like, it's just it's such a Strong, there's such it's so intertwined and, you know, there's strong such a strong undercurrent of everything that we do and how we show up whether you whether you believe it or not, believe it or agree with it or not agree with it, you know, it's our money stories and our, you know, beliefs and also what you're talking about societal conditioning as well. Like it's, which is a really interesting thing that you know, they go sort of hand in hand.

40:24

Yeah, of what's you know, can you hear me I can hear that now. That's all right. Just excuse me for you understanding until we

40:31

go, excuse me, for a sec.

40:34

Now, and that's, um, that's something you guys as listeners, like, I know, everyone has their own concept of what kind of bookkeeper they're supposed to be and what they've done in the past. And if it's worked, if it hasn't worked. The best way I find with being, you know, your own entrepreneur is doing it your way and making sure that it has something relevant to you. So You know, going back into what we were talking about, just because you think you have this preconditioning, or this thought process that if you do this, if you do change it so that it's more represented to who you are, you might lose the client, then To be honest, lose the client, because they're not your ideal client anyways, and

41:20

you will gain people that you resonate with more, because that's what you're attracting. Exactly. It's funny when I let go of my stuff. I actually started I only work with people that are really,

41:32

really, exactly that's who I'm attracting, you know, I mean,

41:37

we have we have clients all the time that you know, say that the savvy bookkeeper, you know, we have such a great community, we have such a great client base, and we always seem so happy and so willing to help and that's because we only work with people we want to work with.

41:53

And frankly, that's the whole reason you have your own business.

41:56

Exactly.

41:58

Exactly. Why are you Working with people you don't like to work with next stop being afraid of losing the client, you will get another client. Don't worry, you are

Is the wealthy guy the baddy ?!

42:09

making the space for an exceptional person or more exceptional and that's the thing that you know. So there's no there should never be that fear around letting go of those people but you know in getting back that societal conditioning is such a you know, it's such an interesting thing and I when I talk about this sometimes you know, thinking back to your childhood about childhood movies particularly when I was growing up you know me it was like, you know, it was always the the wealthy landowner was the bad guy and the little street homeless street urchin was in rags was the was the hero and like I mean that in itself that does a lot to kids growing up. It's like well you're bad if you're wealthy you'll you know You're bad. You're not nice person. It's just and it's just, it's so interesting how that can all be go together with forming, you know this what we what we think is our, what we think is what it should be like. And you know, the thing is of, you know, how do we define success and status and power in our world? It's all based around money.

43:16

Yeah no, I love it so much. And I know this is a thing that a lot of our clients are working through right now. So for anyone who wants to have a chat with Melissa to discuss things more direct you to her. We are going to have all of her links in our quick links in our podcast page on our website. And you are also being lovely enough to offer a 45 minute complimentary strategy session which is amazing.

43:51

Thank you know, it's just because I just love to, you know, it's just to talk to people first, like in a minute and the part that offers I send you Nice, three questions that I want people to fill in. So it, you know, makes this session as as fantastic and productive and, you know, greatest can be, you know, as they can, but it's just, you know, giving some people some tools and some things to think about. And then obviously, I will, you know, if I think there's a fit, I will share of, you know, how we could work together so, but it's, it's I find, it can be enough to just get people on the right track. And then, you know, sometimes they'll go away, and then they'll come back and we might do some work together or whatever, or support them, but it's just, it's a really great space to actually be able to talk, you know, have a chat with someone, there's no obligation, there's no you know, it's just actually, all you need to do is fill the questions out. And that's for you, not for me, and it's really it's a really powerful session just to sort of people go away and go: aah I'd never even made that connection or that bit. Have you noticed that there's some aha moments or just another Just standing.

45:01

It's understanding I think in like, we're, we feel so privileged that you're offering this to our listeners, because you know, and I just please take it opens the doors, you know, opens the doors to people thinking about it and considering it and just understanding themselves more. Yeah, absolutely goes such a long way. And I think it's great. It's so wonderful to talk with other mentors that have that same. I just want to help people, you know, like, grow. Yeah. It's so lovely to actually be able to talk to other people who, you know, have the same mindset as we do at savvy because, you know, we people always say, you know, you guys give so much away you guys, you know, give so much value and it's because we legitimately want to help so it's nice to actually meet people who are in the same mindset of helping others it's you and helping entrepreneurs and really supporting people and really for the good, just everyone Yeah. Now, running this other thing as well. Do you want to chat about your retreat that's coming? Yes.

Montville Queensland Retreat

46:06

Yes. So I've got I'm running a retreat coming up on the 15th of September. It's in the Sunshine Coast. Unfortunately at the moment, Angie and I were talking as Queenslanders

46:16

only

46:18

designedly at the moment so it's up in the Sunshine Coast at Montville – it's for three nights so it's Tuesday the 15th to Friday the 18th It's a wealth consciousness retreat for professional women so it's some it's amazing really doing Yeah, it's it's gonna be beautiful. It's a small it'll be a small group. like creating that that safe space creating a container in a you know, nurturing safe container to go away and look at you know, have a look at all this stuff. We're going to be here I'm gonna having someone coming up and you know, cook beautiful food for us. There'll be some lovely wine there if you if that's what you you know, if you'd like live like that? Yes, I mean essentials has been a drop

47:03

of wine.

47:06

So it's some there are some slots still available. So once again, if anyone is interested, you got that you're gonna put

47:14

out the link so we'll have it in the quick links and we'll also have the quick link to the free offer for the 45 minute session in our website as well guys, so just you know, feel free to click through and then you can check out those links and find out more information about all

47:29

this with the retreat. It's really you know, working through the the money mindset stuff, and there's other reasons it's not necessarily directly related with money. But there's that awareness that there's something going on. So it's it's doing a you know, really clearing the space so you know, clearing whatever needs to be cleared, freeing up that mental real estate to then really be able to go and go Okay, what does it what is, you know, what do I want? What is possible? What do I want my you know, what will my greatest life look like? Or you my business look like so because of the women that are coming up, it's around business money businesses and what's going on for them there.

You need an action plan, not just a nice weekend away

47:29

So it's and the thing that I my point of difference so someone has actually asked me about this this morning is that I think with a lot of retreats, you go on them and they're beautiful, and they're fantastic. And and, you know, and you when she when you're there, they're great. But then you go back to the real world, and then then you're back in the real world, you know, guys exactly Oh, sort of goes a bit. You know, it's still sort of hovering there. But we so my, my goal is for people to walk away with a very strong, actionable plan items, whatever they want to be, you know, it'll be different for everyone depending on what their intentions are for being there, but it's something to take away and implement immediately when they get home. However, what I'll be doing is I'll be following up with them. There'll be a follow up session as well to for about a bit accountability and checking in and that sort of thing, just to see how they going.

49:04

Yeah, I think it'd be a fantastic trip for anyone, especially our bookkeepers that are in the midst of starting their journey as well. I think this would be a great opportunity. To clear what needs to be cleared. You know, the amount of work that you get out of it when you start figuring out where all of your mindset and your belief systems comes from, so that you can make space to grow, whether it's personally or professionally or both. Wherever, yeah, it's amazing. And I think it's just a great opportunity. But I wanted to thank you on behalf of Savvy for joining us for two episodes. Now. It's been fantastic and I can't wait to share it with our community and, you know, just really celebrate the fact that you can have a healthy mindset with money and And creating that space to be feeling comfortable to talk about it. So thank you so much for joining us. Thank you so much for joining your insight and everything and having talking money as a business and supporting other entrepreneurs.

50:18

Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's been great again. Love it

50:22

beautiful. So as always guys, we will have all of the Quick Links for Melissa in our actual website, so all you have to do is click on the podcast that she's on, there is two podcasts that she's on. So you can go in there and click her links and find out more about the amazing things that she's doing for her clients in regards to money mindset and just talking money in general. And, as always, guys, stay safe, sane and savvy. Thank you so much, Melissa.

50:57

It's a letter guys. Thank you.

50:59

Bye Bye